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Gender on the Job:
Preventing Sexual Harassment
by
Mimi Donaldson
Creating the proper working environment is everyone’s responsibility. A
hostile environment can result in a loss of productivity. Litigation of
sexual harassment claims can cost the company may thousands of dollars.
Management cannot afford to ignore such problems if the company is to
survive.
What is sexual harassment? The law defines it in two parts:
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Quid pro quo; this for that. Simply, job benefit or elimination of job
detriment in exchange for sexual favors.
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Hostile environment. This means a pattern and practice of unwelcome
sexual conduct or requests, whether or not it is directed at a particular
person, which creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive working
environment that unreasonably interferes with an individual’s job
performance.
In the first case, the employee must document the conduct and file a
complaint right away. The employer is always liable for quid pro quo
harassment.
The Man’s Role
Since sexual harassment statistics show 95% of the reported cases are male
harassing female, I will deal with man as the potential harasser and woman
as the potential victim. Regarding a hostile working environment, however,
there are many gray areas between consensual and coercive behavior. Many
harassers do not realize they are doing it. Men are better off when they
avoid what I call “Six Deadly Signals” that may contribute to their image
as a harasser and may sacrifice the team work and camaraderie that are so
valuable.
Signal No. 1:
Sexual innuendoes. A male manager in a national media
company said to his female supervisor, “Relax—don’t get your panties in a
wad.” She went berserk. He couldn’t understand why. He had always told his
male employees, “Don’t get your shorts in a wad.”
Signal No. 2:
Honey, baby, sweetie. We’re not your wife or daughter.
Signal No. 3: Exclusionary tactics. Some sports analogies used in business
conversation are used to exclude women. To be safe, don’t use language
some of your listeners may not understand.
Signal No. 4:
Condescending. It may start with, “You probably don’t know
this” or it can take the form of interrupting mid-sentence and running
over her words.
Signal No. 5:
Touching. A client of mine was reprimanded for touching his
female co-worker on the arm while talking to her. When questioned, he said
he learned at a communications seminar to touch for persuasive contact. He
was told to find another way to be persuasive.
Signal No. 6: Blocking movement. Some guys think it’s fun to “tease” women
by impeding or blocking movement. Men need to know it’s not funny unless
it’s enjoyed by both parties.
The Woman’s Role
Can women avoid or prevent sexual harassment? Not always. But the victim
has a responsibility to herself and the company to nip poor behavior in
the bud if she can. When a victim responds with fear or shrinks away, she
reinforces the behavior she abhors because the harasser has already gotten
away with a small crime.
Let’s look at “Six Deadly Signals” that may set you up as a victim. These
should by no means be construed as putting the blame on the victim,
however.
Signal No. 1: Dressing sexy. What may be “comfortable” for you may invite
unwelcome remarks. I know we have “rights,” but be realistic. Men are
visually aware.
Signal No. 2: Sexual sharing. Sharing with a man that very funny, risqué
joke you heard yesterday may invite one of the off-color jokes he knows,
and you may not like it. Also, refrain from sharing the intimate details
of your date—it sets a tone for sexual sharing.
Signal No.3: Touching. Some women find it more natural to touch an arm or
shoulder to make a point. This may be perceived as being sexual. It’s
better to keep your hands to yourself, if you expect the same.
Signal No.4: Swearing. I’ll never forget punctuating a point with a
four-letter word, and the male manager in my training class turning beet
red. He said, in a low, disappointed voice, “I thought you were a lady.” I
lost credibility.
Signal No. 5: Uncertain speech patterns. The woman who is always hedging
(“kind of, sort of”) and sounding unsure (“I’m not certain, but …”)
generally loses credibility. This doesn’t necessarily lead to sexual
harassment, but it does make you appear weak and helpless—a perfect
target.
Signal No. 6:
Nervous talking. Similar to uncertain speech patterns, when
you talk too much, people tend to interrupt you. Interruptions represent
power; someone has taken away your right to speak. Don’t set yourself up.
If both sexes can consciously avoid the signals, we will reduce our
chances of being labeled “harasser” or “harassed.”
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